Monday, July 5, 2010
Growing in My Calling
For a few years now, I’ve felt nudges from God about moving into full time ministry. Although I am eager to grow in this area, circumstances have not yet lent themselves to open doors. I’m at a point where I feel like I am standing still. My only learning/growing is online in my own time with no one around to share my thoughts or struggles. In my personal prayer time, I keep sensing the Lord telling me that my development must occur in a safe and secure place (like the image of a womb). Honestly, this is a very lonely place or me. Out of desperation, I called a friend whom I’ve known for a very long time, but have not communicated with her much over the past few years. Our conversation was anointed. I felt the presence of God in her words as she gave me practical advice on growing in my calling. Here is what I’m learning now:
-- ALWAYS pursue the caller more than the calling. God calls us to various places, some temporary and some permanent. We need to be close enough to hear God’s whisper to know where to go and how to do it. Also, by the time we are where God wants us to be, there will come times where we are overwhelmed and desperately need God again. Developing a habit of pursuing the caller is THE most important trait when moving into the direction of your calling. This spoke to me deeply! Whenever I pursued the calling, I got burned out. When I pursued the caller, he carried me in the direction of his calling. WOW! Right now, I am pursuing God fiercely so he will reveal to me those obstacles that prevent me from doing his will. He will open the doors, and he will give me the connections I need to move in the direction he desires.
-- Obedience is better than sacrifice. When God fulfilled his promise to Abraham to have a son, Abraham was thrilled. He enjoyed raising his son in the ways of the Lord, teaching him all the great things of God. Then, God asked Abraham to sacrifice his son. Abraham obeyed. On the way up the mountain, Abraham told his son what was about to happen. He told his son, God would provide the sacrifice. Abraham’s faith KNEW God would provide the sacrifice even if it meant raising his son from the dead. Comparing this story to God’s calling on my life, I had to ask myself, if God fulfilled his calling within me, am I willing to give it up simply because he asked me to? Am I willing to forsake what I have (even those things I love the most) for the sake of His kingdom? Am I willing to obey no matter the cost? In all truthfulness, this is a struggle for me. I’ve worked so hard doing what God has asked me to do, and forsaking it all is very difficult. However, I realize when in full time ministry, I will certainly find myself at that crossroads. Some opportunity will come along outside my calling, and I have to know whether God is asking me to forsake my calling for this “opportunity,” or if the “opportunity” is a distraction from what God truly wants me to do. With that said, my heart says yes, although it is very tough.
So with all that said, I feel I’m ready to move. I’m praying for open doors. I need the Lord to send me a mentor in the area of His calling for me. I’m praying the finances will be there if I need to attend conferences, seminars, materials, etc. In the meantime, I’m seeking friendship here where I am. Although my friend of many years was there for me when I needed her, she lives far away. I need a good local friend who will walk along side me because, frankly, I need the encouragement. Well, there’s my heart, out in the open, and on the blog. It’s proof-positive I’m still a work in progress as I grow more into the image of God. Blessings!